I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
