i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
