i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
