When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
they're like a gay fantastic four
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
