how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I came so hard my ears popped.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
