im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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