We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
