I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
