dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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