This is not my ceiling
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Ketchup is God's man juice
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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