just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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