i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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