tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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