Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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