Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize