i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
