Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
