And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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