so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
