I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
