hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
