Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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