4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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