3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
