we have pet lesbian snakes
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
