We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
