Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
