yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
