so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize