Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Randomize
