Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
A bitchslap is in order.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
