I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
