I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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