Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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