you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
