I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize