I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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