you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
