I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
