I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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