My brain says no but my pants say off.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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