Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
