guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
it glows. i had to have it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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