Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
