he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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