i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
