And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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