I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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