Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
