We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize