you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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