Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm at about main and main street
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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