thus making me awesome and them whores
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
