Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
