I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
it hurts more in the daytime
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
