If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Everything about him screamed your future.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
