And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
