alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
