Soap is not a condiment
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
